By now your Facebook and Twitter feeds will be inundated with people saying goodbye to 2014 and making resolutions for 2015. It’s around this time that the phrase “new year, new me” gets bandied about, with people making commitments to lose weight, find a new job or discover a new love. But, this just isn’t for me.
This year wasn’t my best, and I bet many other people are feeling the same. I’ve been in hospital for a large chunk of time, been to more medical appointments than I care to remember and I’m going into the new year with an undiagnosed health problem, in addition to that wonderful disease MS. It’s safe to say that I am glad to see the back of 2014, but that doesn’t mean the problems I’ve been struggling with will magically disappear at the stroke of midnight.
MS is my life partner, it will never be far away from me and will impact the decisions I make in the future. It’s time that I accept this as the inevitable, rather than hoping, or pretending really, that a letter is about to come through the door that says this disease malarkey was a mistake.
However, that doesn’t mean that I have to let it take control of me. I am still the same Leigh that I have always been, just a little bit older and a tad more cynical. This year I am not going to tell myself that 2015 will be the year to lose weight, get my dream job or win the lottery. Instead, I am making a simple promise that I intend to keep. I will not berate, criticise or scold myself for not being where I wanted to be two years ago.
Things may not have turned out the way I’d always imagined, but they could be a hell of a lot worse and I’m living with MS, not losing to it.